11 - The Process Method

Toye Oyelese

Hello and welcome to Navigating Blind, I'm Dr. Toye Oyelese, and today, we're unpacking something that, honestly, kept me sane through some of the scrappiest years of my own life. It's what I call the Process Method, aligning what you do, your daily tasks, with where you want to go, instead of obsessing over things you can't control.

Toye Oyelese

Here's the thing. When we look at outcomes, your exam results, landing that job, someone saying yes instead of no, those things, they're the product of a million little variables. Most of them? Beyond your reach. There's this wild chaos in how things turn out, because who knows if that one file lands on the right desk, you know? But in the middle of all that uncertainty, the only solid ground I found was focusing on the stuff I did have a say in: my actions, my tasks. The more I repeated those, the more I at least nudged the odds.

Toye Oyelese

Let me take you back, actually, to when I was new in Canada, working in a chemical factory in Toronto. It was noisy, rough on the hands, and, honestly, a far cry from the work I wanted to do as a doctor. I couldn't decide who got into medical school or how many spots there were, couldn't decide if the admissions committee was in a good mood or if my test scores even got seen. But I could cap the bottles, come home tired, and still force myself to study a bit, or draft one more letter for my med school application.

Toye Oyelese

Those specific things? Those were mine, and I kept showing up. Each little task might only bump my chances by a hair, but it was something. Eventually, no guarantee, just eventually, the outcome I wanted showed up. Did I make it happen? It's difficult to draw a straight line, but I'm pretty certain, every application, every exam, every bit of persistence, they all nudged those odds, bit by bit. And, really, that's all you can do.

Toye Oyelese

So how do you actually use this in real life? It's pretty straightforward, but... also, not easy, right? First, figure out what you want. Let's say you're staring down a big goal, maybe medical school, maybe something totally different. You don't just wish for it and hope. You work backwards: what day-to-day things, repeated enough, could make that dream more likely? Then, you zero in and measure yourself by those tasks, not whether the outcome magically appears. Did you finish your reading today? Send the application? Prepare for the exam? If yes, that's a win, doesn't matter if the final answer is 'not yet.'

Toye Oyelese

Now, there's this question I get a lot, "But how do you keep going when the results just aren't there?" And, believe me, I've been there, years of waiting to get accepted, getting more rejection letters than I'd care to count. If I asked myself every morning, "Did I get into medical school today?" I'd have gone mad. But if I asked, "Did I do something, anything, toward that goal today?" then yeah, I could chalk up small successes. Those little wins gave me enough to keep moving.

Toye Oyelese

It's a bit like taking a photograph, actually, another passion of mine. You can't control the weather, the light, people walking into your shot, but you can show up, compose the frame, take the shot, again and again. Over time you build up enough good tries that when conditions come together, you're ready. Which brings me to this rule I still mutter to myself: Good seconds make good minutes, good minutes make good hours, and so on. It sounds simple, kind of obvious, maybe, but those good seconds, that's where you actually have a say. Stack enough of them, and slowly, things can shift.

Toye Oyelese

Now, I know some people might hear all this and think, "Well, isn't this just giving in? Accepting whatever happens?" It's actually... the opposite. See, there's this myth that if you just want it enough, or work hard enough, you control everything. But that's wishing, not reality. When that reality hits, maybe a tragedy, something way out of your hands, that belief snaps, and you're left with nothing. Instead, if you get used to focusing on what you can influence, your actions, you don't fall apart when things go sideways.

Toye Oyelese

I'll share one more story, from my time in rural Alberta. We ran this grassroots healthcare project aimed at preventing diabetes. Now, prevention is slow work. Some days it felt like pouring water into sand, people's health is unpredictable, results show years down the line, if they show at all.

Toye Oyelese

Some patients stuck with us, some didn't; some improved, some didn't, despite everything we did. But our little team found real meaning by focusing on the process itself, going out, doing the screenings, educating, supporting. Even when a patient had a setback, or the overall numbers weren't great, we kept at it, and that sense of purpose, day after day, that's what actually got us through the tough times.

Toye Oyelese

So, the Process Method isn't about being passive or denying hardship. It's about channeling whatever energy you have into the things that real life actually lets you shape: your efforts, your consistency, your willingness to try again, even when the odds don't cooperate. And that's how you build real resilience, you weather the chaos, not because you can stop the storm, but because you kept showing up to bat, no matter what the scoreboard says.

Toye Oyelese

I'll leave you with this: Survive first, then thrive. Not because survival falls into your lap, but because by aligning your actions that way, you shift the odds, even if you can't ever own the outcome. And hey, next time, I hope you'll join me for the final episode where I'll try to pull these threads together with what I call 'The Invitation.' I don't expect you to buy into any of this just on my word. Give it a try for yourself. Until then, survive first, then thrive.